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The Perfect Speed Dating Questions: Unlock the Chemistry

You’re at a speed dating event when you encounter your first potential date. You introduce yourself, note their name, flash your most welcoming smile, and then prepare for the next few minutes.

Now what?

It’s a question that can cause anxiety in even the most confident of people, but it’s also key to this entire process. Good speed dating questions will make you and your date more comfortable and could drastically improve your chances of making a connection. 

So, what are the best “getting to know you” questions for dating events?

Preparing for Speed Dating

Successful speed dating is not just about compiling a few dating icebreakers, waiting for the right moment, and then reciting them like a quizmaster. You must be able to project confidence, thus making your fellow date feel comfortable and secure and not like they’re being interrogated.

If you’re an anxious person, prepare for the event by chatting with friends. Run through a few scenarios, pretending they’re your date. It helps to practice the questions and ensure you can answer them yourself. If they ask, “What about you?” you don’t want to awkwardly stare at them for several seconds and then shrug.

Here are a few other tips to ensure you’re properly prepared:

  • Prepare your best outfit, making sure it’s washed, ironed, and ready to go.
  • Figure out how you will get to and from the event.
  • Wash, shave, get a haircut, and make sure you’re well groomed.
  • Take money with you to pay for drinks.
  • Put your phone on silent to avoid distractions.

When you’re at the event, make eye contact with daters, smile, and express an interest in what they are saying. 

Characteristics of Good Speed Dating Questions

One of the key characteristics of speed dating questions is that they are open-ended.

A speed date is not a job interview. Sure, you want to know whether the other person is a good fit, but if you start reeling off direct and short questions, it’ll make for an awkward encounter. You should be open, welcoming, and interesting. Ask open questions like “What do you like most about your job?” as opposed to “What’s your job?”.

Add some intrigue to your questions. Give them something they haven’t already been asked by countless other people at the event. If they’re not interested, they won’t answer earnestly and will start clock-watching. 

Categories of Speed Dating Questions

Speed dating questions can be broken down into a few different categories, with the best one depending on the situation, location, and even your demographic. Here are the categories and some examples:

Funny speed dating questions

  • Have you ever drunk-dialled anyone?
  • Do you have a party trick?
  • What’s your best joke?
  • What’s your favourite funny story?

Off-beat speed dating questions

  • What’s your most effective chat-up line?
  • If you had to be an animal, which one would you be?
  • If I granted you three wishes, what would you wish for?
  • What would be the name of the book based on your life?

Icebreaker questions for dating

  • If you could have dinner with anyone (dead or alive) who would it be?
  • What would be your perfect holiday destination if money was no object?
  • During what period in history would you prefer to have been born?
  • What’s the first thing you would do if you won the lottery?
  • Who would play you in a movie of your life?

Speed dating questions for students

  • What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?
  • What books are you reading right now?
  • Did you have any nicknames in school?
  • Do you believe in aliens?
  • Do you have any unconventional beliefs? 

Dos and Don’ts of Asking Speed Dating Questions

Speed dates are short, but if you ask something embarrassing or do something the other person doesn’t like, they can feel like an eternity. Avoid mishaps by keeping these dos and don’ts in mind.

Do play the “dating question game”

If you’re feeling strange about asking certain questions without any apparent segue, then phrase it as a game. Tell them you want to play a quick dating game whereby you ask and they answer. Your “dating game” questions can be as bizarre as you want, as it’s all part of the game.

Do listen

After asking the question, listen to the answer. You’re not there to check boxes and race to the end so you can give a final score. You asked them for a reason, so listen!

Do sit up straight

Your posture speaks volumes. If you’re slouched over the table and toying with a bottle or beer mat, it suggests that you’re bored or distracted. So, sit up straight and give them your full attention.

Do follow-up

Imagine being asked about your pets and stating something vague like, “I love dogs, but I’m having issues with mine right now”, only for the other person to nod and then ask you if you have any siblings. It’s odd, it’s disconcerting, and it proves they weren’t paying attention.

If your date makes it clear that there’s more to their story, ask. If they follow up with a question of their own, answer it.

Don’t get too personal

It’s okay to ask where someone lives in general and if they have siblings, but don’t push for the specifics. You don’t want to sound like a stalker.

Don’t ask about drugs or sex

Although some daters might be okay with these topics, many will not. Bear in mind that you’re a stranger, and most people aren’t comfortable chatting with strangers about drug use and sexual history.

Don’t ask about exes

It’s always a good idea to keep exes out of the conversation. It’s a sore topic for them and probably for you as well. People tend to harbour a lot of resentment for their exes, and it’s best to keep things friendly and happy. 

Don’t talk about money

It’s best to avoid conversations about their salary or what type of car they drive. You don’t want to come across as a gold-digger.

Join Cityswoon Today

Asking the right questions can make all the difference to the success of a speed dating event. So, remember:

  • Ask open-ended questions
  • Listen, engage, and follow up
  • Don’t get too personal
  • Ask intriguing, thoughtful, and/or funny questions
  • Project confidence, smile, and make eye contact

Ready to put your newfound knowledge to the test? Then check out Cityswoon’s speed dating events today! We have both in-person and virtual events for you to join. So, sign up, prepare your questions, and get ready to meet lots of new people!