The Importance of Chemistry – How to Identify a Connection at Speed Dating Events
By Emily | November 15th, 2023
Whether you date online or offline, the process can be laborious. You find someone you like, chat with them, arrange to meet them, spend the afternoon or evening with them, and then determine if they are a good fit. If not, it’s on to the next one, with the process repeating until you find someone worthy of your time.
Speed dating events are different. They put the usual process on fast-forward, introducing you to a large number of prospective dates in a short period of time. You’re matched with singles, spend a few minutes chatting with each one, and then exchange details with the ones you like. It’s fun, it’s fast, and it’s effective, but it also means you need to pay special attention during each date.
In the space of a few minutes, you need to learn if that person is right for you and if there is any kind of connection that’s worth pursuing. With that in mind, let’s look at how you can identify connections at speed dating events.
1. The Conversation Flows
Speed dates only last a few minutes, but if there’s no chemistry between the two daters, it can feel like a lifetime. Whether it’s a senior speed dating event or a young singles event, boring dates are never a good sign.
When there is a connection, the conversation flows easily. You don’t feel awkward asking questions and you don’t feel like you need a script to keep things moving. Everything happens naturally.
2. You Feel Relaxed
It’s normal to be nervous during a singles meetup—you’re putting yourself out there and you’re meeting a lot of new people. It’s also normal for those nerves to increase if you see someone you really like. But if they start to dissipate when the conversation begins and you’re immediately at ease, it could suggest that you’ve made a connection.
The butterflies probably won’t go anywhere, but you may not feel like a mumbling shadow of your former self.
3. You Are Genuinely Interested
Are you interested in what the other person has to say or are you just mesmerised by the colour of their eyes or the shape of their cheekbones? It’s important to like the way they look, but if that’s all you like then there’s probably no hope for anything long-term.
On the flip side, if you find that you’re fascinated with everything that they say, genuinely want to know more, and aren’t just waiting for the bell and the chance to move on, you could be onto something good.
4. You Connect in the Right Places
Opposites attract, as the saying goes. It’s true, but only to an extent. You can connect with someone who doesn’t like the same movies as you or has very different hobbies, but there are some areas where connections are needed.
Politics is one of the main ones. If one of you swings left while the other goes right, it isn’t going to work. Politics has no place in a singles dating event and you shouldn’t ask about allegiances outright, but you’ll probably get an inkling from other things they say.
Music is usually a sticking point as well, especially if one of you listens to Slipknot and Metallica while the other prefers Justin Bieber.
5. Look for the signs
Dating in your 20s can be chaotic. You’re a slave to lust, it’s easy to let apparent feelings of “love” control you, and your emotions are all over the place. Dating in your 30s is more assured and confident, but you’re still susceptible to naivety. Beyond that, you have a good idea of what you want, what makes you tick, and whether someone likes you or not.
Pay attention to those signs and listen to your inner voice. If you’re a little more naïve in the dating department, focus on the way that the person makes you feel and look for signs—the genuine smile when you compliment them, breaking eye contact when you look at them, playing with their hair—that they feel the same way.
Not good at reading signs? Check out our other guides and blogs, where you’ll find many helpful speed dating tips.
Improve Your Chances of Making a Connection
You know what to look for at your next speed dating event, but how can you increase your chances of making a connection? Here are a few tips:
Choose the right event
Look for a speed dating event that suits your demographic and needs. Can’t travel far? There should be some local speed dating events that are just a short car ride, bus journey, or even walk away. You can try searching for terms like “speed dating near me” and “single events near me”, but why bother when we have everything you need at Cityswoon?
If you prefer to date from the comfort of your home, we have virtual events where you can meet singles through your computer or device. We also offer speed dating for mature singles and professionals.
Relax and have fun
Treat each speed date as a fun chat with a friendly stranger, as opposed to an interview with a prospective date. It’s important to adopt a laidback and relaxed approach, lest you create a tense atmosphere that ruins the date.
Don’t lie and don’t pretend to be someone else. Be your authentic self. That way, you won’t catch yourself out in a lie and can relax more.
Summary: Make Better Connections at Speed Dating Events
According to Google Trends, search terms like “speed dating near me” and “singles dating events near me” are more popular than they have been for years, proving that there is no shortage of singles out there waiting to make a connection. Whether you’re speed dating in your 20s and looking for some occasional flings or seeking something more serious at senior events, the opportunities are there.
Explore more with Cityswoon, the home of fun and inclusive speed dating events for singles.