CitySwoon Blog

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Cityswoon: Why We Rely on Dating Feedback from Real Meetings

Real Life Feedback - Dating
Group of new friends eating fast food with chopsticks on a double date

There is something very wrong with the way online dating works. We know that, and we think you’re starting to understand that too.

Online dating is today an accepted mainstream way to meet someone, but that doesn’t say much for 21st century dating. We increasingly throw ourselves at the mercy of computers, outsourcing our love lives to apps and spreadsheets while holding those all-important first conversations online. Yes we gain something, but a soul mate? Maybe not.

The internet absolutely serves a purpose when it comes to 21st century dating. But how much of a part should it play? At CitySwoon, we use technology to help you and your match connect, but then it’s all about face-to-face interaction. Research tells us this is a far better way to find love.

Just like internet dating sites, CitySwoon uses an intelligent algorithm to match people on dates. But does this make us an internet dating site? Nope! Our algorithm is based on real feedback taken from face-to-face meetings. This makes us VERY different to other internet dating sites who use profile pics to measure response.

How contemporary dating apps and sites work

Most contemporary dating sites claim they possess an exclusive process that perfectly aligns couples according to certain variables and interests. But these “matching algorithms” miss key variables for long-term love. These algorithms are taken before the parties even meet!

Studies show that the strongest predictors of solid relationships are a couple’s live interaction style and ability to handle stress. And no data in the world can predict that without a face-to-face meeting!

Profile photos are poor proxies for the chemistry sparked by meeting in the flesh. Without live interaction, unsuccessful matches happen, resulting in wasted time on the wrong person when the right person could be round the corner.
Internet dating sites offer variety, and while this might seem like a good thing, variety can make you prone to erroneous decisions. Choosing from a large array of profiles takes the pressure off cognitively taxing decision making, unlike choosing on a one-to-one basis in real life. The way that online dating sites present profile information can affect the way you make your decisions too.

In short, you’re not yourself when choosing from a database based on only variables and interests. What you see is fairly superficial information about a potential match, which means you’re not seeing that person as a whole. The information you base your decisions on gives you very little to go on in determining how someone might actually behave in real life.

The CitySwoon solution: use feedback from real dates!

In face-to-face interactions we form fast impressions of others based on subtle behavioural characteristics and their general demeanour. The more face-to-face time you’re exposed to, the easier it becomes to form an impression.
After every real date you go with CitySwoon, we ask that you give us feedback about the people you meet. This includes information such as how attracted you were to them and whether or not you’d consider seeing them again. We don’t publish this feedback, but we do use it to show you better dates next time, until you find the exact person you’re looking for. It’s kind of like other internet dating sites, but far more sophisticated and far more likely to result in a happy ending. Our data gets built on real, person-to-person meetings, meaning your happiness could be the result of thousands of people giving their personal feedback from dates.

Finding ‘real’ love

here is an abundance of evidence that tells us that people quite happily and quite readily misrepresent themselves online. The internet serves as a wall in which people can hide behind, and this somehow justifies a little dishonesty. Common stretches of truth for men include information about jobs, height, weight and physique, while women tend to misrepresent things like bust, profession and age.

The ugly truth of internet dating is that you never really know if the friendly, attractive woman or the engaging, athletic man you’ve been talking to for weeks is really the person you’re going to meet. Much of your internet dating time is spent working to weed out disingenuous profiles, which according to research tells us is about half of all profiles. Yes, you read right… half.

A study of 1,000 single men and women – all of whom belonged to various mainstream dating communities – uncovered a shameful excess of dishonesty from people claiming to find their one true match.

CitySwoon is the world’s most successful way to date. We realise this is a big claim, but check out our cityswoon’s dating success.