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The Blind Date Scaries: Insights From a Top Matchmaker

Are Blind Dates Terrifying?

Couple surprising themselves on a blind date

Some people are terrified of blind dating and will not entertain the idea of ever going on one. As a matchmaker, I come across a lot of people who don’t necessarily feel comfortable with the idea of not seeing a picture of their match prior to the date. They know who they are attracted to and that’s that. Except they are still single and haven’t been able to find the right match for themselves up to this point. Maybe their typical type is the reason they are still single.

Beyond Swiping

Giving someone a chance based on other criteria besides instant physical attraction is crucial when picking the right partner. There are so many other important qualities for a long-lasting relationship and attraction can grow as you get to know someone. Aligning values, lifestyles, and goals will be the glue that keeps a relationship going. You could save a ton of time by going on curated dates based on these important factors.

It’s really important when going on a blind date to go in with an open mind and to ask important questions. Whether the date was set up through a matchmaker or a friend or a matched speed dating event, there is a reason why you’re being introduced to this person. Take the time to figure out why you two were set up. Ask them about their backgrounds, where they see themselves in a year and what their goals are. It’s really easy to sit down and immediately rule the person out but try not to let yourself do that. Open up about yourself and what you’re looking for and you might be pleasantly surprised to figure out that they share similar views.

We’re in the swiping generation where we have an endless supply to people and can treat one another as though they are disposable. That’s the kind of mindset that’s keeping people single. I’ve noticed a huge increase in people wanting to make connections in real life again.

Real connections by real people

The best way to do that is to be connected by a mutual connection. The problem with getting set up by friends is that you’ll want to see photos and get all the information about them prior to meeting, which is taking you back to the swiping mentality. Do yourself a favor and don’t ruin the date before it even happens! Trust your friend or matchmaker or Cityswoon’s live-dating discovery system and go on the date with good faith that this person was picked out just for you.

Spend some time reflecting after each date to truly create a list of qualities and characteristics that are important to you. You might surprise yourself and see your list change as you go on more dates. I’ve had a lot of clients who initially stated specific characteristics as preferences but connected to someone a little different than they had initially thought.

Be brave this year and go on some blind dates. The apps will always be there.

By Anna Morgenstern of Dating Rehab NYC