By Ben | March 18th, 2021
As a speed dating event producer, I regularly receive many questions regarding dating and what’s next after an event. One particular question that has stood out to me is how to follow up with a date you’ve met at a CitySwoon event – whether it’s virtual or in-person – or someone you’ve just connected with a party or gathering once it’s safe to do so. This simple step can often be fumbled unfortunately but I will help you navigate this sometimes tricky scenario so you get more dates.
So you’ve met a great girl or guy on a night out or at a virtual event and you had a lively conservation. Sparks are flying! Perhaps you’ve even discussed a hobby or activity that is of mutual interest. That’s awesome! If you think the feeling was mutual, be sure to ask for their phone number or social media account if you are more comfortable with that. (At a CitySwoon event, you can message your matches on our website so no need to get their info on the spot.)
I suggest about 30 minutes to 1 hour after the end of your conversation, send the other person a quick text or note saying that it was nice meeting them and wishing them a good evening. Feel free to mention a specific point of conversation (I.E. it was nice chatting about our favorite band or a vacation destination we both visited.) If the other person is interested, they will generally reply pretty quickly but don’t fret if they don’t as they may just be caught up in the night’s festivities. Regrettably, in some instances people wait days or even weeks to reach out, but by that time the other person may have lost interest or may be dating someone else.
The next day you should send a follow up text message or note asking them how the rest of their night was/how their day is going. You can tie in the discussion from the previous night here (I.E. How as your friend’s birthday party or how was your day at the beach, etc.). The other person can take the initiative as well as if they do that’s a great sign that they are interested. They may even suggest a plan to meet or ask when you are going to see each other again. If that’s the case, go with the flow.
If you got a social media account rather than phone number (or attended a CitySwoon event), continue the exchange a bit by continuing the conservation you had when you initially met or discussing plans for the week or other small talk. Once you’ve had a couple exchanges, ask for their phone number and continue communication via text message.
If you are communicating via text message, after they reply to your initial text, I recommend cutting to the chase and making plans to meet again. It’s essential do this so the person you’re pursuing knows that you are confident, decisive and take initiative which are all attractive qualities. This is a very important step and I find that this is often where mistakes happen. I strongly encourage you to set a specific date, time and place to meet in the coming days. This could be a bar, a restaurant or an activity of mutual interest. Once the date is set, keep the text exchange to a minimum but send a text or note on the day of to confirm plans. If the other person suggests an alternative date, time or place, go with their suggestion(s) as you want them to be comfortable on their terms.
In these crazy times, the other person may not feel comfortable meeting in person quite yet and that is perfectly OK. Everyone needs to do what is best for them and for the safety and well being of family, friends and the general public. If that is the case, do not worry at all. I recommend planning a video date or phone call at a time convenient for you both. You could even order from the same restaurant and have dinner together or purchase the same bottle of wine or coffee blend. This will be a fun discussion point and will help the conversation flow.
Thank you for taking the time to read my first blog post on CitySwoon’s website and I wish you much dating success. Please feel free to email me at bgoodman@cityswoon with any questions.
You can find our upcoming event calendar and more info on CitySwoon.com
East Coast & Midwest Market Manager