CitySwoon Blog

Face to Face. Real People. Real life.

5-Signs They Want a Relationship

By a Top Chicago Dating Coach


You’re ready to meet that special someone to share your life (and you don’t care how long it takes).

You’re looking for a best friend and a life partner. You want to make memories and have fun together. You want to be spontaneous and plan trips. You want to feel wanted and desired by them.

But, you’re stuck dating people who ghost, cancel plans, pull away, or suddenly change their mind. Despite going on dates and meeting new people, the relationship you want still feels like a far-fetched dream.

This changes today! We’re going to take your far-fetched dream and make it a reality. That’s why I created 5-signs that they want a relationship. Refer to these signs while you’re at a crossroads and you’re trying to decide to stay or leave.

Remember, you want to build something lasting with the right person for you. Don’t lose sight of what you want just to make the other person comfortable. Telling someone you’re not a match is worth it! A moment of discomfort is much better than years of enduring the wrong fit relationship.

While you’re dating, choose actions that help you get closer to your dream relationship. That means only dating people who want a long-term committed relationship. Don’t wait and see how things go with someone who wants to keep things casual. This will save you from experiencing months of pain, anxiety and heartbreak.

I’m going to be honest with you. You will still encounter people who ghost and don’t want a relationship, but the difference between you and other singles is that you’re going to get better at spotting them faster and leaving them sooner.

Knowing who you’re not available for is just as important as knowing who you’re available for. This helps you stop investing too much in the wrong fit people so you can have the time and energy to pursue the right fit people!

You know you’re on the right path and closer to meeting your person when you start dating people who show all 5 signs.


#1 – They ask you personal questions

They put in effort to get to know you. They don’t shy away from personal conversations, in fact, it excites them. They’re curious about who you are, your passions, and your fears. If they only talk about themselves, it would be wise to leave.

#2 – They respond readily with interest or enthusiasm

They don’t play games. Period. It doesn’t feel like you’re pulling teeth to get them to open up or hang out with you. They don’t wait days to message you back. Instead, making plans to hang out feels easy and effortless. They gladly text you, call you, or make plans to hang out.

#3 – They listen to you and remember things that you’ve told them

You know they’re listening to you! They acknowledge the things you say by repeating back to you what they heard (aka mirroring). They even ask you follow up questions. If they walk away from you while you’re talking or they have a glazed look in their eyes while you’re speaking, it’s a sign they aren’t a good fit for you.

#4 – They make plans to see you

They make plans to get to know you better, either by jumping on a video call or meeting in-person. They also get excited when you make plans to see them! They enjoy spending quality time with you and don’t hide it.

#5 – Respect your time and show up to a virtual/in-person date on time

They show up on time. They don’t bail last minute or push back the time you’re supposed to meet. They aren’t distracted by notifications on their screens because they want to get to know you. They take dating seriously because they’re also looking for a long-term relationship. You have their full attention on the date because they’re considerate of your time and energy.

I can assure you these people do exist! And no, you won’t have to force things with someone you’re not attracted to. There are attractive people out there who want the same things as you!

If you’re ready to start dating people who want a long-term relationship without exhausting yourself, I have a gift for you.

Now that you know signs that they want a relationship, here are 6 easy checklists that help you filter out people who don’t want a relationship. Access your freebie here so you can find your special someone to enjoy life with:

About Gabby Valdes

Gabby Valdes is a dating coach for singles who struggle to find love because they’re stuck dating people who ghost, pull away, or end things suddenly. She helps them change who they’re attracted to so that they can find someone special to enjoy life with.